What Type of Relationship Are You Really In?

if you’re new here, make sure to subscribe to receive the Lover’s letter delivered directly to your inbox every Sunday.

Most men dream of adventure.

Traveling the world with a woman who calls him king, who can’t keep her hands off him, who makes other men wonder: “How did he get her?”

And maybe, you did get that — once.

But now?

The fire’s faded.

The touches are fewer.

The bedroom feels colder than you’d like to admit.

You didn’t plan for this.

You’ve built a strong life. You’ve a strong career. You perform. You provide.

You’re respected in conference rooms and you don’t flinch under pressure.

But in the one place you crave to be seen and felt?

You feel invisible.

The one person you want to melt for you has gone quiet.

You didn’t break anything.

But something is broken.

And now you’re left wondering: How did I end up here?

You're not alone. Most men drift into it without realizing.

There are only 3 kinds of bedrooms:

Dead. Boring. Or Devoured.

1. The Dead Bedroom

The Dead Bedroom is the silent graveyard most men never admit they live in.

No sex — or once a month out of pity respect — she talks down to him, mocks him to her friends, rolls her eyes at his words.

He buys her lingerie but she leaves it in the drawer, tags still on.

He dreams of leaving but deep down, he knows: He couldn’t get another woman if he tried. So he stays trapped — paying bills for a woman who flinches when he touches her.

And her?

If he disappeared tomorrow, she’d feel relieved.

She’d cry a polite tear to her sister then find a man whose spine holds her cravings the way he never did.

2. The Mediocre Marriage — Roommate Mode

Roommate Mode is the polite coffin.

No yelling. No big fights. Just numbness.

Two best friends sharing food and a Netflix account.

Conversations about chores, work, groceries — never about passion.

The sex?

Maybe on birthdays.

But never with hungry hands. Never with fire.

She loves him — but only like a brother. She trusts him — but she doesn’t crave him.

It’s calm. Safe.

And dead inside.

Nice. Predictable.

But no woman ever bragged to her girlfriends about her nice, buddy husband.

In her girl-friends' WhatsApp chat? She brags about:

• The man who makes her giggle at brunch and moan at night.

• The man who doesn’t need to beg — his presence makes her thighs press together and her breath hitch.

• The man she brags about — not because he’s nice, but because he fucks her like a lover and holds her like a king.

And no man dreams of dying with polite pecks and cold sheets.

You could fly her to Paris tomorrow.

But if you still carry the same collapsed energy — she won’t melt.

She’ll take the pictures… and withhold the spicy sex you crave

Because this is the truth:

• Money can’t buy passion.

• Nice dinners don’t rebuild desire.

• And time doesn’t fix what lack of masculine leadership has eroded.

This isn’t about trying harder. It’s about becoming the man she can melt into again.

The man whose breath anchors her chaos.

Whose presence turns her soft

.Whose energy says: “You’re safe — now surrender.”

The man she doesn’t just love —but aches for.

Roommate Mode is only a stop along the path.

Eventually, you either slip into the Dead Bedroom —or you step into the fire of the third type of relationships:

3. The Lovers — The Strong Spine Man

And then there’s the rare one — The Lovers.

I’ve seen it — I live it.

The woman respects him when he enters the room.

When her friends ask her for permission — she smiles and says, ‘I’ll check with my man.’

She buys him gifts he never asks for.

She cooks him his favorite meals just to watch him eat.

She calls him her king — not ironically, but from the heart.

When he sleeps, she looks at him and whispers, ‘How did I get this man?’ She protects him spiritually — prays for him when he’s not looking.

If he was dead, handicapped, or in prison — she’d visit him every day. She’d stand by him because his spine held her through life’s storms.

And the sex?

Full of novelty, full of play, full of craving — every rumor that married sex life dies is their private joke.

Same woman. Same man. New spark every night.

She sees him as her man, her lover, her protector — and when the door closes?

Her pornstar too.

It’s not luck. It’s not a fairy tale.

It’s his spine. He holds it daily — physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, sexually.

Same kids. Same bills. Same life. Different fire.

Most men dream of the third relationship — but drift into the first or second because they never turn it into a daily structure.

Desire doesn’t live in big gestures — it lives in how you lead her nervous system, your energy, your body — every day.

This is how you do it:

3 pillars. Small rituals. Big fire.

1. PHYSICAL COMMAND

Your body is your broadcast.

When you’re soft, sloppy, aimless — she can’t trust you fully. Her primal mind reads: ‘If he can’t command himself — how can he command the world for me?’

Daily actions:

• Train your body 3–4× a week.

• Walk or stretch daily — a man’s spine stiffens when he sits all day.

• Master your breath — it’s your hidden posture. Calm breath = calm power.

• Eat clean enough to build testosterone — you can’t lead if you feel half-alive.

Why?

• No more ‘nice soft man’ vibes that kill her craving.

• She feels your discipline daily — not just in words.

2. EMOTIONAL LEADERSHIP

This is where most men fail: they lead in work, they collapse at home.

Your breath, tone, and posture are the anchor for her storms. Your frame is the harbor for her moods. She tests you not to destroy you — but to find your spine.

Daily actions:

• Morning ‘spine anchor’ ritual — 5 minutes of deep breath + posture check + daily promise to hold the frame.

• Journal tension before it leaks — a cluttered mind is a leaking spine.

• Weekly ‘storm time’ — sit with her, ask about her fears, listen, lead.

• Learn Womenese: her moods are the code. Decode them, don’t defend against them.

Why?

• No more cold nights or pointless fights.

• Her nervous system relaxes — craving follows.

3. SEXUAL MASTERY

Routine kills desire faster than cheating does. A Lover knows seduction isn’t a Saturday night — it’s Monday breakfast, Tuesday teasing, Wednesday mystery.

Your goal: same woman, new spark — every week.

Daily/Weekly actions:

• Small teases: push/pull, eye contact, playful tension — keep the hunt alive.

• Surprise her: new settings, new times, break the script.

• Lead new bedroom gears: slower, deeper, longer. Learn your breath here too.

• Flip the Coolidge Effect: build novelty inside your relationship so her brain never numbs.

Why?

• No more dead routine sex.

• She brags about you behind your back.

• She protects you spiritually and devours you physically.

Most men don’t choose Roommate Mode.They drift into it.

And they never get back the fire — because they never build the structure.

In August, I’m leading a private 30-day challenge.

We’ll rebuild the spine she aches for.

Through 3 daily pillars. With a small group of men doing the same.

No fluff. No blame. Just leadership.

We start soon. Spots are limited — I’m keeping it tight on purpose.

If this letter hit you in the gut — Reply to this email “CHALLENGE.”

You already know where you belong.

Stay loving and sexy,

Mohammed