- Mohammed Radwan
- Posts
- What kind of man are you?
What kind of man are you?
& a new path for men
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Let’s get to it
Last week, I caught myself slipping.
I wasn’t yelling. I wasn’t slamming doors. But I was sharp. Distant. Passive-aggressive.
I felt irritated at my girl... but I didn’t say it.
I just shut down. Got defensive. Avoided her.
And then I started judging her quietly in my head.
Why is she like this?
Why can’t she just...?
That’s when I realized something:
I wasn’t being the grounded, loving man I pride myself on.
I had slipped into something else.
I had become the rigid, controlling man.
The shadow side of the Nice Guy.
Where It All Starts: The Boy Who Wanted to Be Loved
Most of us learned early: love is earned through being good.
Be helpful. Don’t cause problems. Don’t upset anyone.
So we shrink ourselves. Suppress our needs.
We try to be the "good guy" in every relationship.
But here’s the trap:
That little boy grows into a man who doesn’t say what he wants.
Who thinks love must be earned by sacrificing himself.
And then wonders why no one desires him.
Mark Glover, in No More Mr. Nice Guy, painted a picture of a man who uses agreeableness to avoid necessary conflict—and outsources his worth to others.
But that’s not the same as a grounded, purposeful man who leads from his core and cradles his woman as he chases his mission.
Nice Guys aren’t actually selfless.
They’re transactional.
“I’ll listen to you. Support you. Do everything right...
So you give me what I want—love, peace, appreciation, sex.”
It looks sweet.
But it’s not love.
It’s a survival strategy—a mask built to avoid rejection.
He was told all his life:
“Be nice.”
“Don’t upset her.”
“Be agreeable, and she’ll love you forever.”
So he tries.
He plays by the rules mama and society gave him.
Even when it doesn’t feel right.
Even when he feels like a ghost of himself.
He keeps going.
He suppresses what he really wants.
Bites his tongue.
Swallows the tension.
Avoids what he really thinks.
All just to “keep the peace.”
To earn love the only way he was taught—by abandoning himself.
But underneath it all?
He doesn’t understand female nature.
He expects her to respond logically.
To follow the script.
He thinks if he’s nice, she’ll be soft.
If he’s agreeable, she’ll be obedient.
But she’s not.
She’s emotional.
Cyclical. Wild. Testing.
And he’s not ready for that.
So when she pulls away...
Gets cold...
Criticizes him...
He snaps.
He doesn’t just feel rejected—
He feels betrayed.
“After all I’ve done... she’s still not happy?”
So he shuts down.
Gets cold. Defensive. Controlling.
He’s no longer the sweet guy.
He’s a man on edge—trying to control what he never understood.
Why She Stops Responding
At first, she loves your sweetness.
But without leadership?
She feels unheld. Unguided. Unsafe.
So she takes the lead.
And you follow.
And slowly... her desire fades.
She loves you—but she doesn’t want you.
The Two Traps That Kill Polarity
Most men fall into one of two traps in relationships:
Trap #1: The Passive Nice Guy
Avoids conflict
Constantly seeks validation
Thinks being extra nice will make her love him more
Always asks, “Is everything okay?” even when she’s clearly off
Lets her make every decision—trying to be "easy"
Over-apologizes just to avoid tension
Showers her with gifts, but it makes her pull away
Clings tighter when she withdraws
She doesn’t respect him.
He’s lost his edge.
Her attraction fades.
She doesn’t open her legs for him.
Trap #2: The Controlling Man
Becomes rigid and dominant
Gets annoyed when she has her own opinions
Dismisses her feelings as “emotional” or “illogical”
Criticizes how she talks, dresses, acts
Ignores her needs, assumes manipulation
Uses distance as control when upset
She doesn’t feel safe.
She shuts down or rebels.
The relationship becomes a battleground.
She doesn’t open her legs for him.
What Real Leadership Looks Like
Leadership is not about dominating.
It’s about being grounded in your truth.
It means:
Saying what you feel, without drama
Holding boundaries without guilt
Staying steady when she’s emotional
Leading from depth, not ego
That’s what creates safety.
That’s what earns her respect.
That’s what reawakens attraction.
The Third Way: Strength + Sensitivity
You don’t have to choose between two extremes:
The Nice Guy who avoids conflict.
The Controlling Man who creates it.
There’s a third path:
He’s loving—but rooted.
Clear—but soft.
He speaks truth—but stays warm.
He doesn’t collapse or control.
He leads.
He is the man she’s truly longing for—
Not the passive boy who bends...
Not the rigid man who dominates...
But the man God created for her.
A dangerous man—whose aggression is tamed and channeled to protect, not destroy.
A man with emotions—yet emotionally disciplined.
He understands female nature.
He doesn’t fear her storms.
He’s the cliff to her waves.
Stoic. Clear. Grounded.
Not because he’s cold—but because he knows: His reaction shapes his kingdom.
He doesn’t flinch.
He doesn’t chase.
He doesn’t cheat.
He walks with purpose—and when they walk together, other women wonder:
“Who the hell is this man?”
He doesn’t tolerate disrespect.
Not because he’s harsh—but because he knows his worth.
He’s vulnerable—but never weak.
He regulates emotion. He speaks truth.
But you’ll never see him crying in her lap, begging her to lead.
His vulnerability is strength.
His presence is power.
His love is a fortress.
This is the Strong Spine Lover.
How to Start (Even If You’ve Slipped)
Here’s how I got back into alignment this week:
I told her the truth—without blaming her
I sat with my tension instead of acting on it
I reconnected to my body and breath
I led a small date that created safety and polarity again
Start here:
Speak one real truth today
Say no without guilt
Stop fixing—just feel
Ask yourself nightly: “Did I lead with presence today?”
Do this for 7 days—and you’ll feel the shift.
She’ll soften.
You’ll lead again.
And the bedroom won’t feel like a battlefield.
It’ll feel like home.
P.S. Ready to Step Into the Man She Can’t Ignore?
If this letter hit home—if you’ve seen yourself in both the Nice Guy and the Controlling Man—
Then you already know:
Being good isn’t working. Being angry doesn’t help.
You need a new way to lead.
That’s exactly what The Strong Spine Lover gives you.
This isn’t fluff. It’s not a list of surface-level tips.
It’s a full system to help you become the man she can’t ignore:
You’ll learn how to:
Stop seeking her reassurance while your self-worth bleeds out
End passive-aggression, shutdowns, and emotional cold wars
Quit fixing her moods—and lead through them instead
Speak from your core, not perform for love
Break the Nice Guy trap without turning into a jerk
Reignite tension without begging, chasing, or manipulating
Lead the relationship without dominating it
You’ll also get:
Daily masculine grounding rituals
Real-world scripts to lead without drama
My frameworks for intimacy, polarity, and long-term attraction
The emotional, physical, and sexual tools I personally use
This is the path back to polarity.
To power. To peace. To desire.
If you’re tired of her pulling away—or tired of doubting your own masculinity...
This is where everything changes.
10x your intimacy here:
https://loverwithstrongspine.carrd.co
Stay loving,
Mohammed