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Most of my life, I thought love would cost me too much.

I was single for years. Freedom was my safe place — no one pulling at my time, my energy, my wallet.

So when I got a girlfriend, I’d feel annoyed for no clear reason. Like she was always taking. I’d think: She wants my time, my money, my plans.

But I missed what she was giving — the everyday things men take for granted:

• The way she folds my shirt without a word.

• The small hand on my back when I’m too tired to talk.

• The warm food waiting when I come home beat up by the world.

And the best part?

She was offering me something I never knew I needed:

Rest & Play Time.

That sacred space where I could lay down my armor and forget the world. Be soft. Be silly.

• I whine when she gets dressed too fast.

• Make out in public like high school kids.

• I pout when I don’t get my boobie privileges.

• She calls me ridiculous. I say “thank you” and kiss her harder.

We’re grown-ups by day — but behind closed doors, we play like kids hiding from chores.

But when I ignore Rest & Play… I start losing her.

Not all at once.
Not with a breakup.
But in the small ways that matter most:

Her laughter gets quieter.
Her body stops leaning into yours.
She spends more time on her phone, less time teasing you.

And it’s not because she doesn’t love me. It’s because she doesn’t feel safe to open anymore.

Meanwhile, I start feeling tired, disconnected, and irritated by her needs, instead of energized by her presence.

I still do the right things — work, provide, show up.

But the spark?
It fades.
The intimacy turns into routines.
And the warmth that made you crave her in the beginning… starts to disappear.

That’s how relationships die. Not from lack of effort —but from lack of Rest & Play.

Then I read a line in David Deida’s book that cracked my chest open:

She wasn’t draining me. She was feeding me — if I’d just slow down and taste it.

Now I see her for what she is:

- A place to drop my armor.
- A nurse for my restless spirit.
- A warm bed for my battle-worn mind.
- A silly playground for the boy in me who still wants to be held.

These days, I’m the maestro of my own Rest & Play Time.

Every night, I stand in front of this orchestra — emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, social, sexual —and I play it how I want.

Sometimes it’s emotional:

• Lie in bed and unpack the day.

• Listen more than you talk.

• Hold her until you feel her breathe out all the tension she carried for you.

Sometimes it’s mental:

• Dream together in whispers.

• Ask her what she’d do if you both disappeared for a year.

• Tease her mind — it’s foreplay too.

Sometimes it’s spiritual:

• Sit in the dark, forehead to forehead.

• Breathe until you lose track of where you end and she begins.

• Remember this is bigger than both of you.

Sometimes it’s physical:

• Nap tangled up like kids hiding from chores.

• Feel her giggle against your neck when you pull her tighter.

• Run your hands over her back, feel the warmth under your palms — no rush, no goal, just her soft skin against yours.

• Wake up to her leg draped over you, her hair a mess, your heartbeat slower than it’s been all day.

Sometimes it’s social:

• Watch a dumb show and talk over it anyway.

• Cook badly, lick sauce off her fingers, laugh like idiots.

• Gossip about your neighbor’s dog like you’re twelve.

Sometimes it’s sexual:

• Tease her until she laughs and pushes you away — then pulls you back.

• Trace her collarbone with your mouth like you’ve got nowhere better to be.

• Make her feel safe enough to melt, playful enough to climb on top, sweet enough to kiss you after.

• Rest together when it’s done — her head on your chest, her breath on your neck, both of you quiet and full.

How to start tonight:

Keep it stupid simple. Pull her close. Tell her:

“I just want to be with you tonight. No phone. No plans.”
“Come here. Be my soft place to land.”
“Let’s just rest. Or play. Or both.”

Don’t plan the perfect date.
Light a candle. Lock the door. Let her talk, laugh, breathe.
Let her feel the man under all your daily armor.
Be a grown man when you need to be — and a playful boy when you both crave it.

Why it matters:

As men, we fight hard. We hold it together. But without rest & play, we starve the part of us that stays young. We become stone. Hard. Cold. Distant.

And when we shut that softness off — she feels it. So she stops feeling safe to lean in. She feels alone next to you, even when your body’s right there.

A woman needs your presence like you need her warmth.

She wants to feel you drop your armor — so she can drop hers too.

When you choose Rest & Play Time, you feed both of you. You stay young. She stays open. You remind her she’s not just a roommate or a chore.

She’s your soft landing. Your silly playground. Your warm medicine.

And you — you become something else too.

When you lead Rest & Play, something shifts. You’re no longer just a man who shows up.
You’re a man she feels. A man she laughs with. A man she melts around.

You stop being the guy who only works, fixes, and fights. You become the man she craves to come home to.

Not because you chased her.But because you made her feel safe to stop running.

That’s The Strong Spine Lover.

Stay playful,
Mohammed Radwan

When You’re Ready, Here’s How I Can Help:

1. The Strong Spine Lover course
My 5000 word full guide on polarity, leadership, and intimacy with my personal initmate relationships framework to avoid a sexless relationship. Get it here.

2. Mentorship
If you’re ready to go deeper and work with me personally 1:1 then fill the application form and book a free call to see if we’re a good fit. Apply here (I’ve only 2 spots at the moment)