Are your woman's moods challenging you?

I’m on vacation with my girlfriend. Early February was her birthday, then Valentine’s Day, and now we’re on this trip. We spent a week by the beach before heading to Cairo to meet my parents. She’s been mingling with my sisters, my mom, and my oma, crocheting in the living room while I sit beside her writing.

After days of being together nonstop, I wanted a taste of my old life. I wanted to meet my childhood friends—laugh, smoke, play video games, and watch dumb movies like we used to. So I told her, “I’ll be with my friends for the next two hours.”

And in a microsecond, her radiance shut off.

She didn’t yell. She didn’t argue. But something shifted. She was suddenly distant. The warmth, the glow she carried, vanished.

At first, I didn’t get it. Why is she upset? I deserve time with my friends. 

Something in me tightened. I felt an urge to explain myself.

“I mean, we’ve been together the whole time…”
“I just need a couple of hours…”
“I don’t see why this is a big deal…”

The more I spoke, the colder she felt.

And that’s when it hit me…

I fell into the classic mistake—getting defensive. I explained myself, rationalized, and even felt slightly annoyed. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from The Way of the Superior Man and Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, it’s this: her mood isn’t about control—it’s about connection.

Her Mood Swings Like a Stock Market

Women’s emotions are fluid, unpredictable. More volatile than any financial market. A moment ago, she was crocheting peacefully, content. Now, she’s cold. But the truth is, she wasn’t angry at me—she was simply expressing sadness in the only way she knew how.

She wasn’t saying, You can’t go out.
She was saying, I don’t like that you’re leaving.

A younger, less experienced me would have reacted, making it about fairness, about logic. But I’ve learned that logic doesn’t penetrate feminine emotions. Love does. Humor does.

Holding Space for Her Mood

This is where emotional containment comes in. My role isn’t to “fix” her sadness or defend my choice. It’s to hold space for her feelings without getting thrown off center.

So instead of reacting, I leaned in. I pulled her close, kissed her forehead, and said with a smirk, “I know, baby. You’ll miss me. It’s okay.”

She melted.

In that moment, she wasn’t looking for an argument. She was looking for my strength. For my ability to hold her emotions like the ocean holds the waves.

The “I – I – WE” Framework

Next time, I’ll use the I – I – WE framework:

1. I hear you – Acknowledge her feelings. (“I can see that you’re feeling off about this.”)

2. I understand – Validate them. (“I know we’ve been together the whole trip, and me leaving even for a bit feels like a shift.”)

3. WE are good – Reaffirm connection. (“But WE are solid. I’ll be back soon, and maybe we’ll do something fun after.”)

This keeps her feeling seen and loved while maintaining my own emotional strength.

The Key Lesson

A woman’s mood isn’t a puzzle to solve—it’s a wave to surf. The more you resist, the harder it crashes. The more you embrace, the easier it flows.

Love, humor, and emotional strength—those are the tools. And next time, I’ll use them before the shift even happens.